Another friend of mine told me, recently, that he "had never been around [me] when [I've] been around someone [I] like...therefore, [he had] no idea how [I] flirt." What a blow this statement was. The truth of the matter is that his roommate has been an interest of mine for quite some time. Talk about a reality check. He basically said, 'You have no flirting skills what so ever!' And except in my own subtle ways, he's right.Well, now the question is...what do I do about this. I've asked around but I tend to get the same old responses from everyone.
"How can I flirt, tell me, teach me...I implore you!"
So far, no one has told me anything that is of use. "Be more flirty," they say...but they never say how. Guys respond, "You're the girl, not me, shouldn't you know how to be flirty...I never know what a girl is doing anyways." And girls say, "Be yourself...wait for the right guy." Nice but not helpful. And a few others give me the usual, "Be more touchy, single him out, smile and make eye contact." Check, check, and check....next please.
Granted I can not do anything that is not in my nature to do...I don't want to be someone I'm not, but I will however do more and step outside my comfort zone if and when someone gives me some actual advice that is noteworthy.
Noteworthy advice...
Any takers?
12 comments:
I can teach you how to flirt, I've taught many a girl how to do it before. :)
Oh really...Mr. Mango, have you now...
Have you talked to Kara? Honestly, she seems rather amazing as a dating-counselor type figure. Not that I've really deeply enlisted her services (yet . . .), but that's my impression.
(Apparently you didn't appreciate my emailed advice . . . :) Have you considered the 100 Hour Board? (Or even just Optimistic - he's got a girl - or rather, a girl got him . . .))
(who said I didn't take your counsil to heart...not me)
Just the fact that you're still asking the selfsame question is what tipped me off, I guess. And the whole "if and when someone [finally] gives me some actual advice that is noteworthy" . . . Hmm. (Okay, so I can understand how you would continue to ask for others' advice - as if mine were the be-all end-all, etc., etc., etc. - okay, okay.)
For now, I just wanted to know if the picture is supposed to be your version of your disturbing dreams . . . Muahaha.
The picture just cracks me up.
Though, if we wanted, it could symbolize my poor choice in guys that I'm attracted to or possibly my inability to distinguish reality from dream world...
haha
Just struck me as a good choice for a pic with the feelings I was having that day. :)
p.s. I took your advice to heart...really.
lallawalla...I miss you. It will be great fun when you are back.
And yes, I know what you mean. Too bad there isn't such a class...if there were such a class, though, I'm sure it would be crazy full and we'd have to sneak in and stand in the back somewhere, and of course we'd both be too short to see over everyone's heads to see what the teacher is showing us and thus we'd be just as awkward as ever...and really, that's too much work. Don't ya think.
At least when you are back I will have someone to watch black and white movies with.
Whatever. You've never asked me to watch black-and-white movies . . . Anyway.
What I really wanted to write you with was the fact that 'this family [you] know' is lacking its newest blogging member, Clarissa, found at http://pinksuperstar17.blogspot.com/.
Now, to fit into the conversation a little bit, I would like to remind everyone of the now-famous strut performed by one 'LaLaVoila' at an FHE long ago in the KMB (something about a music video or something . . .) - said evidence could most definitely be construed as flirtatious, to say the least.
Now, if the two of you are still interested in that class, I'm betting there are still spots for guys, and if I can get into it, I'll be glad to stand up in the back and hold you both up so you can see. :)
Black and White movie night usually extends beyond curfew...sorry Compulsive.
Hi Cassandra! Hmmmmm. I have the same problem a lot of the time. The thing is, I know how to flirt with girls that I'm not interested in, or that I have no chance with - but I can't act that way around girls that I really like. I just freeze up and can't really do much of anything. So attractive, let me tell you. It gets the girls to crawl all over me. Oh, wait. I guess it does the exact opposite.
Anyhoo. As for a class at BYU, I seem to recall that taking brother Barlowe's "Marraige Prep" class was about the closest you could get to a flirting class. And, yes, he actually gave advice to all the girls about how to flirt. It was a hilarious class. If you haven't taken it yet, you should take it. I learned a lot.
As for the actual mechanics of flirting . . . . don't girly magazines teach you those things? Like, I say pick up a copy of Seventeen and see what it has to say. I'm sure there are plenty of pointers in those trashy mags.
Here are a few things that I have noticed and will mention: flirtiness is always synonymous with playfulness. Guys will often tickle girls in an effort to flirt. You could do the same to guys. Any chance you get to touch him is always good. Another thing you can do is just act like you're already dating the person - and by that I mean just going up and grabbing his hand, cuddling up next to him, calling him "honey" or whatever other terms of endearment you might have. There's the infamous elbow touch, the back-scratching, the back massage, and always, ALWAYS give long hugs and lots of compliments - the more extravagent and silly, the better. Basically, flirting involves a lot of banter, whether it is physical, verbal, or whatever. It's a type of game where one person does something - and the other person responds in kind. Then, you escalate. So, if you joke with someone about how you're their girlfriend, they will either play it off as no big deal, or they will keep the joke alive, and send it back your way.
Practice on guys that you are good friends with, and hopefully that will help you be more prepared for when you are around the guys you're actually interested in.
Good luck.
Thanks, Trav. I really mean that. Thanks. What you say makes sense. I'll try. I'll keep you posted. :)
There's this great book called "The Frogbuster" which was recommended to my whole ward by my bishop one of my first weeks there. I have a copy and I think you can get it at the bookstore. It helped me at least.
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