Monday, July 17, 2006

This is going to make me sound like such a stupid girl…
But honestly, it’s really bothering me.
I keep dreaming about this guy. I really would rather not dream about him. Sometimes he’s kind to me in the dreams; once he kissed me. I woke up feeling so great. Then once he kissed another girl (a good friend of mine) right in front of me. Sometimes he blows me off in the dreams. Then I wake up feeling disturbed or sad. I do not like this. I don’t know why this particular guy is popping up in my dreams nearly every night or why it should affect my emotions so much one way or the other. I seem to have no control. I don’t like being out of control. I can’t figure out how to stop dreaming about him. If I think about him during the day, I dream about him. If I don’t think about him during the day, I still dream about him. I think the worst is waking up with the depressing feeling of rejection when nothing has really happened. It was just a dream! Why do I feel sick to my stomach about it?! Of course, the disturbing dreams are worse, but I do not long for the good ones either. It goes back to being out of control. Just as I don’t like waking up feeling gloomy…I don’t particularly like the fact that I wake up feeling elated as well because I know it doesn’t really mean anything. Why am I happy? It was just a dream. And then I get upset with myself for having yet another dream about this man. Why is my mind torturing me with such nightly visions of him? Why does he trigger such emotion, good or bad, that seems to stick with me through out my day? I can’t seem to shake this thing. How frustrating!

4 comments:

Travis Butterfield said...

I've had that problem. It's funny. More times than I can count I end up crushing on some girl I never really thought much about, until I have a dream about her. All I can say is that "this too shall pass." Most likely nothing will happen - and life will go on as normal. At least, that's been my experience. You just have to wait it out. Also, I say just enjoy the dreams. Especially the good ones. If you can't have him in real life, at least you can have him in your dreams. I actually had a dream just last night about a girl I had the hugest crush on about a year ago. Now I live in Arizonia, and she's almost engaged (again). When I woke up, I was really delighted that I dreamed about her (and kissed her -- woot!) - because I know it will never happen in real life. That's about as close as I'll ever get to kissing her. And, it seemed really real. So, like I said, savor those moments. Reality is so overrated anyways.

Thirdmango said...

I have incredibly vivid dreams and have a very good memory for them. I usually wake up very disoriented because my whole mind is focused on the dream and it feels very real. It really sucks when I'll have a really good conversation with someone I really like, and then find it really was just a dream. Then I try to have a good conversation with the actual person and it never ever works out. It's completely mind boggling to me, how our minds will trick us into thinking one way when it just can't happen in real life. Ack. Good luck.

It's Not a Tuba said...

I just wanted to chime in a little bit (of course). First off, the real question is if the guy is what you really want in real reality - if so, you should probably do something about it (see roommate comment on 'flirting,' Exhibit A). If not, tell yourself that reality is so much better and that your dreams can do whatever the heck they want. If that's too hard, well, just keep venting, and it'll probably just go away.

Thank you.

Just what does 'woot!' mean, anyways? :)

BlueAdagio said...

You guys are great...haha.

First off, Compulsive, what does (see roommate comment on 'flirting,' Exhibit A) mean? You lost me there.

Trav, I'll try to be as excited about my chance dream encounters with this man as you were about your little chica. I mean the kiss was pretty nice --woot! :)

And Mango...I too am pained with the ability to have very vivid realistic dreams pretty much all the time. I like them for the most part. Until they start affecting my waking life. It has made me re-consider reality before. I came to the conclusion that reality is only reality because others can vouch for it's existence. Sometimes my dreams are just as real as when I'm awake...the only difference is that no one else can remember them. Without friends and people around me...I would have a hard time staying grounded.