Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Most Wonderful Person I Know...

So, I've often wondered about that day when I would take someone home to meet my parents; THE Someone. Would he be nervous? Would I? My fear is that I would revert back to my child-like self when I'm home and under parental control. A friend of mine and I discussed that once. No matter how adult we are on our own it is real easy to switch gears in some respects when we go home. To become whinier or more easily become childish (but not in the good way). This is something I've worried about. I want to be the same person there as I would be here.

One thing I had not considered, however, is what I would do when I met his parents. That part I have never thought to think about. I generally really enjoy meeting people's families. To see where they come from is very intriguing. I never guessed I would be so nervous.

I met Monte's parents on Wednesday. I felt that I was quiet and awkward. I got better as the days went on and it was easier to be myself around his siblings, but still, I was worried I did not make the good impression I would have liked. I was worried they would have no idea that I could be fun, or supportive, or mostly that they would not see how much I cared - genuinely cared - for their son. I guess I did alright. In the end, his mother told him that I was a keeper. I assume that's a stamp of approval. It made me very happy to hear that. Now, don't jump to any conclusions...there is no understanding beyond simple courtship between us, so no comments, please, on anything further. I just wanted to express my thoughts on this Thanksgiving.

I had the chance to watch Monte this past week with his family. As with all families there are problems and things that irk us because we know them best and have lived with them longest. I could tell there were moments when he may have felt that he didn't quite fit...that he was the outsider in his family. But I could also see how hard he worked "behind the scenes" to make them comfortable, to make them happy. The little things he did for them made me love him so much more. And I also saw how their faces lit up when they told me about their cousin, brother, or son when he wasn't around. They think very highly of him. They all love each other so much. I felt very happy to be included.

Upon further inspection I learned a bit more about him these last couple of days. He is truly wonderful. When he's having a stressful time I want nothing more than to be of support and to help in anyway I can. His happiness ranks right up there on the scale of most important things in my life. At the same time, I have never felt happier. It's hard to describe...but if I was a balloon filling with water, there are days when I am sure I can hold no more without bursting and spilling happiness upon all the rest of the world. He is so good to me. I can't quite understand what I've done to deserve him. Or why he finds me so terrific and lovely. It baffles me that he can love me so much. I think it baffles him too that I could feel the same way about him.
So much has happened this semester. So much has happened in the last couple months. I look forward to the next couple. I look forward to continually learning about him. I look forward to the next moment that I will see him. Monte is so kind and gentle. He is soft spoken and generally good natured. He cares for others and likes to do things for them. He likes eating chocolate and baking desserts. He's so smart and works very hard. I may miss him during long nights on campus but I admire his dedication. He always returns a message. He's the first there and the last to leave at functions and other activities that may require help, assistance, or attendance. He's sooo funny. I have never laughed quite so much. I am constantly smiling and my sides ache with happiness. He's handsome; probably the most handsome man I've ever met. His hands are warm and fit so perfectly in mine. He has a tradition to walk around the Temple alone each Sunday to think. He is so good. Sitting in sacrament next to Monte is probably one the highlights of my week. He enjoys traveling and experiencing new things. He has a serious face when he's stressed or thinking, a huge grin when someone makes him laugh unexpectedly, sleepy eyes when he's tired, and a simple grin with crinkle smiley eyes when he says I love you. He's the most wonderful person I know! It was the best Thanksgiving break. :)

Monday, November 19, 2007

I dreamed last night that I was in a super hero movie...sort of anime looking but with real people. I had powers but I never used them. I was young and no one knew that I had powers. I was looking for a safe haven and then I stumbled into this family who seemed normal but I could tell that their father had powers. (He had blue hair.)
Then it was getting to be night time and I wanted to find a place to sleep and I stumbled down to the ocean side. It was very beautiful but unfortunately it was private property and some dude chased me away with a shot gun. I didn't use my powers. I knew that I could but I didn't want to...and I didn't want anyone to know that I had them.I found a great enormous home after that and I went inside the hall. It looked like a hotel. There was a bad guy in there. I had seen him several times before in my dream. I tried to get passed him unnoticed. I realized then that he was going to hurt someone. I wasn't sure what to do. No one knew I had these powers and if I displayed them I knew he would attack me and I didn't know if I could win because he was very very strong. A group of men appeared at this time. I walked past them down the hall. I looked up and one of the men was the guy with the blue hair. We made eye contact and even though he looked very different now I knew it was same guy who was the normal father before...but now he was using his super powers. The group marched down the hall and attacked the bad guy. It looked like they had won...but then he rose off the floor into the air and healed. He laughed maliciously and then used the chains and ropes they had put around him and shot them out at the group of good men killing them all in a flash of light.I began to run now. He began to fly. I entered the main part of the home and I saw the children, three little girls, that had been out trick or treating with their father earlier, the man with blue hair. They did not know their father had just been killed. But they did know something was wrong. They started to run upstairs. The way this house was set up it had a center shoot that went up floor after floor and was surrounded on the sides by different colored rooms. Each one had a theme color and was very beautiful.

I remember I wanted to look around the green room but I had no time before the bad guy appeared. Then I ran to the orange room and then to the burgundy room.

The girls were screaming by this point and we continued to run upstairs. It was like running in a spiral upwards and the bad guy was using the shoot in the middle to race us upwards.

I knew that we were running out of room and I feared for the kids.

I was young...but not as young as they were and I knew I was their only hope. The bad guy was not after me...but he wanted to kill this whole family. I did not know why but I knew I needed to help. But I was sooo scared. I didn't know if I could defeat him. I didn't know if I could even help. I had just seen him destroy a whole group of strong men with powers who were the protectors. The only thing I had going for me was that he didn't know that I wasn't a normal child...he didn't know that I did have powers. He came through a window in front of the youngest girl. She heart was beating so fast by this point and I was petrified. Really and truly afraid...I knew I might could hide or leave but then these children would be murdered. I made a decision to stay. I have never felt so scared. I moved towards the little girl to protect her...

And then I woke up. I woke up from my dream and I was out of breath. Literally. I was breathing so hard and I felt so tired. And I was still afraid. I laid there in my bed for a while and thought about the dream. I didn't know if the children survived. I didn't know if I survived. I got out of the dream before the battle. The only comfort I felt was that I had moved towards the girl before I had woken up. It was such a strange dream.